Endless "saudade" of my Brazil

September 13, 2020

Sometimes I think that I will never live in Brazil again. It’s pretty harsh to say never, I know, but there’s not even a jot of desire that could picture myself there. But I do miss the Brazilian energy. Very much so. A friend once told me “We Brazilians, whenever we enter a room, we fill it with life!”. I couldn't agree more.

We are noisy people; we laugh a lot; we can light up a room, any place at any time with an incomparable energy of which we simply are born with. It’s part of our nature. Truth be told that I have been feeling a bit nostalgic about my home country. But it’s more than that. I miss the vibration, the madness. Brazilians rise and fall; there’s no steadiness within their lives. To me, this is to be alive.

As we sacredly do every week (by the day even: only when the country is not going through lockdown), my husband and I went to our favorite pizzeria in Amsterdam and, of course, there were a bunch of Italians there. This is a place that can warm my heart whenever I miss my people. One of the waiters, Carlo, he was born in Brazil although comes from an Italian family, just like me.

Looking into my eyes, with his own full of tears ready to drop, he said: “I think I’m gonna ask you to stop coming here. I cannot deal with this endless ‘saudade’!”. Then we laughed and our margherita comes. There’s no translation for the Portuguese word “saudade”, used to describe a sentiment of missingness. What a sweet and tender night!


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