February 15, 2021
It doesn’t matter how old and wise we become: being disappointed by a friend will always hurt as much as those first life deceptions when we still nurture the virtue of innocence. I think I'm still shocked by that bitter taste that comes after the tears. Tears that will eventually weaken just like the bond that we once beautifully had.
Will I ever be able to forgive you? I have forgiven past downers but this, it feels like real betrayal. And just to think of the way it happened, I wonder: why would you do that to me? A loyal friend would never do such a thing! My loyal, beloved friends would move mountains to guarantee my well-being and happiness. They would cry to see me crying.
I don't know if it is the dishonesty or the negligence which hurts me the most. The embodiment of those two is certainly a heart killer. Now, whenever this person comes to mind, it makes me terribly sad not only because of what you did but everything that we'll never be able to cherish together again.
I know that you, reader, might be speculating what the hell on earth happened. And if you know me for real, you have already realized the fact that I find loyalty just as important as honesty. Once any of these is broken, no time will ever be able to smooth or repair the damage.
As I write and reflect upon this miserable feeling, I come to understand that I can certainly forgive you, but I will never forget.