Of all things from my home country that I miss the most, nothing can beat the sunlight that I now yearn for months. For the record, I've never been a summertime lover and I do appreciate what comes from a cold breeze: ginger tea, woolen scarfs, sauna, the fall of the leaves, the coziness of being home. Apart from many tricks I use to keep my body warm - and God knows I have been doing all I can to cope with that - winter can be full of privileges and comfort.

But from where I stand, I struggle to find its beauty. Is it because of the dark winter days or the consequences of such a mad year? Am I going through a depressive, introspective phase? Why am I not feeling that positive urge and energy which has always pushed me forward? Is my body lacking vitamin D?

It can be all of these, I assume. But one fact is certain: I'm a solar person and the absence of sunlight has been hitting me very hard.

For the past weeks I look at the sky many times a day and I find nothing to share with it. We are connected with our universe and being away from the most important solar system's Star somehow makes me feel miserable. There's not a single ray of light in the sky. What can I gain from a white-grey sky like the one in Amsterdam? How can people live for months, unprotected by that gorgeous ball of fire? Perhaps they just don't know what it's like to be brightened by a radiant, shining light the whole year long so the lack of it just doesn't matter.

All of a sudden, the magic of wintertime that I have projected for so long in my mind has sadly disappeared.